Here are a few things I learned in 2012. There, is, of course, more, but I don’t want to bore you:
- Control Top pantyhose sucked when I was 20 and they suck now.
- Christmas is not as fun as an adult.
- Some levels in Angry Birds are unattainable.
- You can get stuck in a Spanx. (in a fitting room it is very scary)
- Tim Tebow is under-appreciated.
- Having two, male Boston terriers is a bad idea.
- It’s not a good idea to do anything after taking an Ambien. (some of the toys your children received for Christmas can be fun to play with after you take it, but try not to)
- Guns and Roses rock! No question.
- You never know someone’s circumstances. Consider that in 2013 when you see misbehaved children or someone tailgating. Be easy on yourself and others.
- No matter how “cookie cutter” people seem they are all different and all have problems – even if they seem or look like they don’t.
Happy New Year!
**Strictly for entertainment purposes only. Results of taking Ambien differ from person to person so I, in no way, believe this is how everyone taking the drug is affected. That being said –
If you give Christina an Ambien she’s going to think she’s hungry. Because she’s hungry, she goes to the kitchen and finds a chocolate Easter rabbit. If she has a chocolate Easter rabbit, she’s going to want a glass of milk to go with it. The glass of milk will remind her she still has dishes in the sink and since the dishwasher has already run, she fills the sink with water. The water reminds her she has laundry downstairs to check. After checking the laundry, she finds the rest of the chocolate Easter rabbit and finishes it.
Waking up in the morning she sees the dirty milk glass and the Easter rabbit wrapper. She remembers she didn’t go to bed when she thought she had and she ate some totally yucky stuff. She does not eat Breakfast because she ate so much last night so she’s really hungry for Lunch and has something light. By Dinner she is ravenous and still only eats less than she would have if she’d been alone. The next night, after everyone has gone to bed, Christina takes an Ambien and If You Give Christina an Ambien – she’s going to want a chocolate Easter rabbit to go with it.
And the cycle continues . . .